My dog died monday; Turner RIP

 I apologize about this blog.  It is suppose to be about helping others but too often it is about what is happening to me.  I apologize because here we go again.  I mentioned in Oct that my dog had terminal cancer and how I was trying to deal with it.  I think I did pretty well realizing that Turner was a gift from God and it was part of God's plan for him to die.  It is still very sad at the end and that is part of the plan too.  To accept the grief and go through it.  

It of course reminded me of Lao Tsu.  In chapter 14 of Tao Te Ching he is talking about the Tao.  What we christians call God the Father, the Alpha and Omega.  He states,

Stand before it and there is no beginning

    Follow it and there is no end

Stay with the ancient Tao

    Move with the present.

 

That is what I am doing, "moving with the present."  Being alive in the moment, accepting the grief knowing I am not going through it alone.  It is still sad though.  

Turner my friend you were a great dog!  I will never forget you.

Pax

 Joe

A Grateful Thanksgiving

 I hope everyone has a wonderful, grateful thanksgiving tomorrow.  The holidays can be hard for many folks as our lives don't live up to what we see in movies and in books.  I think that is where people with faith have a huge advantage.  Life has inherent meaning and purpose.  Also faith gives one a sense of gratitude.  After all, George Washington set aside a day for "Thanksgiving and prayer" which has become our Thanksgiving.  My favorite quote of thanks is:

 I love this quote!  It is so full of faith.  Can you actually imagine thanking God for everything that has happened to you?  All those bumps in the road?  I think not.  

And to unabashedly tell God, "Yes God, Bring it.  Your will be done."  Wow, scary stuff.  

Intellectually I get it and am fully onboard but I confess this is aspirational stuff for me at this point.  So I pray for God to deepen my faith and work at it everyday.  But I am thankful that I have enough faith to truly be grateful this Thanksgiving despite all those bumps in the road! 

I hope each of you have a grateful Thanksgiving.

Pax

Joe    

I need to Listen better

 No post last week because my mom had the flu and I was quite busy as she was pretty sick.  Happy to report she is getting better.  I did get to read about St Loyola though and how he was a terrific listener.  Apparently instead of correcting people he would hear all they had to say.  "When he would get to know the person better and the person felt more at ease, the Father would slowly proceed and, without any violence, change the whole game."  from Fr Goncalves de Camara.

In an earlier post I mentioned the importance of "being right" in an argument and as I got older that became less important.  I think the older I have gotten the better I have become at listening as well. It is still hard if we are busy or stress about something else.  To actually try to listen and understand what someone is trying to tell us takes concentration and commitment; it is hard.  

 It is much easier to tell someone your ideas,problems and stories than to try to understand where they are coming from.  That is why I love the above proverb.

I think I am pretty good at listening to people in the clinic.  It's what I have been doing for 30+ years and have received an awful lot of training in how to do it. But with my family it can be hard sometimes because I want to help but they aren't ready to listen; or perhaps I am not listening well enough to understand them.  That is why I need to listen better.

 

Pax

 

Joe 

Let us not be distracted

 Sorry I did not post last week.  I moved my mom into her house and there was no time for meditation.  This week it was chapter 12 of Tao Te Ching. It still amazes me how closely this a lines with the Judeo-Christian message.  Here it is condensed:

The five colors blind the eye.

   The five tones deafen the ear.

        Precious things lead us astray.

Therefore the wise are guided by what they feel and not by what they see.

    Letting go of that and choosing this. 

 So let us not be distracted by things of this world.  As we have talked about before, things are meant to bring us closer to God but they can also have the opposite effect.  A nice car may bring us pleasure but if it becomes an obsession or us coveting it leads to bad decisions/interactions then it becomes a, "Precious thing that leads us astray." 

 

It is so easy to fall off the path with marketing and all the material goods we are blessed with in the US.  I need to constantly remember that "My ways are not your ways" says the Lord.  I need to constantly be reminded to stay on the path and play the true long game.  

Pax

Joe

 

How "the world" thinks

 I read Chapter 11 in Tao Te Ching this week and it was the focus on my meditations. I condensed it here:

               Thirty spokes share the wheel's hub;

                  It is the center hole that makes it useful.

              Shape the clay into a vessel;

                  It is the space within that makes it useful.

 

               Therefore profit comes from what is there;

                    Usefulness from what is not there. 

 

 The world so often focuses on "profit".  What is tangible is easy to measure.  You can create metrics/ worth and value.  What is less tangible is harder to measure so is often ignored or relegated to lip service. Yet culture and integrity are very "useful" to an organization though almost impossible to measure.  There are a couple of great companies and leaders that understand this but they are few and far between.

If you can make more money that is what you should do regardless of how you do it.  That is how the world thinks.  But God doesn't think like the world.  He lives in the hole and the space.  He wants us to bring His kingdom a little closer to the world today by helping others.  That is how we are useful.  

 

 

Pax

 

Joe     

My dog has cancer

 This will be a different post today because it is more of a self help for me.  My 15 year old dog was diagnosed with an inoperable mast cell tumor on his paw Friday.  I saw it coming and appreciate the vet's honesty but it was still a shock when it arrived.  3-6 months and will necessitate at least daily dressing changes of his paw and a boot when he goes out. We have talked about suffering on this blog before, but my dog??  So here is how I am working through this...

All creation was created to praise God.  Hence that is why Turner was created. He has done a good job at this.

Mankind was charged with being good stewards of God's creation.  I think we have done pretty well with Turner; he got to 15.  Of course he has gotten old enough to develop cancer.  

God is good and wants the best for His creatures and for me.  When man turns to evil he can create pain and suffering that God allows but God ultimately causes good from it.  I don't see how this is good.  I don't think this cancer has anything to do with man's evil.  Thus this must be part of God's natural plan. Turner is wearing out after 15 years.

The fact that I don't understand God's plan is what bugs me.  I want to know!  This is where pride comes in.  

So if this is suppose to be good; where is the good?  

  

 This is where faith comes in.  I have to trust God and look for the good.  How can I take this time and this experience and find good?  Is it treasuring the dressing changes with my wife and dog?  More ardent prayer?  Appreciate life more?  There is good here; I just need to find it while acknowledging the sadness as well.   This I am attempting to do.

Pax

Joe   

 

Old Friends

 The invitation came in the mail.  A friend's daughter was getting married in the Catskills.  My wife hadn't seen her friend in 18 years.  I hadn't seen her in 28.  I told my wife she should be flattered she was invited after all this time.  "We're retired; let's go!" So we did.

She looked about 20 years older but sounded the same.  My wife and she started talking as if we were living next door again and had just seen her 2 days ago.  I felt it too.  Amazing.

 Why would it be that way after 20 years?  What makes certain people "impossible to forget".  

I  do think good friends are hard to find.  Someone that you are honest with [ and is honest with you] and have shared experiences with and that builds a bond that doesn't get broken through the decades.  That love makes your friend impossible to forget and allows you to literally pick right back up where you left off. 

So lets be grateful for the friends we have and always be willing to cultivate new ones.  And if you are able, don't wait to see your old friends; twenty years is a long time!

Pax

Joe