Talking less

 Very busy week; I only meditated once this week.  It was a section from Loyola to his followers on how to act.  the first line is:

 Preserve yourself in peace and true humility of the soul,

     keeping silence when silence should be kept and,

              when you must speak,  speaking with discretion.

It made me think of a Yoda type character who never speaks but when he does every word is golden.  My dad was like that.  I am not.  I am getting better at only speaking when " I must".  I am working on listening.  

There is the other side of the coin here too. Some people are uncomfortable speaking up.  Loyola is telling us that there are times that "we must".  As always we should speak with discretion and not give in to gossip and idle chatter.  

Finally, all of the above needs to be grounded in peace and true humility of the soul.  With this as our ground, when we do get into a discussion with someone, it will be for the good of everyone involved.

Pax

 

Joe  

Get it done

 This week I was reading St Ignatius Loyola and ran across this line:

           if you can, do today

                            what you promised tomorrow

He was telling his followers to not shy away from unpleasant tasks but to get them done quickly and to be reliable.  This makes sense because if we are always striving to do God's will with all our work and tasks we should want to get it done.  Part of bringing the kingdom of God a little closer today.  

Now I am definitely a procrastinator when it comes to tasks I don't like.  I am always they will be magically done before I get to them.  Clearly, if they are the right thing to be doing, and are part of God's plan, then I should be doing them promptly and joyfully.  Certainly a mindset I will need to work on but it gives new meaning and status to many things I don't like to do.   I just need to get it done.

Pax

 

Joe 

   

Road trip happiness

Before Covid I mentioned to my son that we should visit every major league baseball stadium.  I thought it would be a good father/son thing to do.  We have gotten to only 5 of the 30 so this year he wanted to add 2 more over the 4th of July weekend to get us back on track.  This would involve driving about 1,000 miles and visiting Pittsburgh and Cincinnati.  With so many variables I downscaled the trip to just Pittsburgh, 3 days and just under 700 miles.  I left the "side trip" to Cincinnati with the 300 mile extra day as an option TBD based on how everything was going.  I was willing to be open to the Holy Spirit but the weather was iffy and I didn't know how I would be feeling physically plus after 32 years of marriage I really hate being away from my wife. 

The morning of day 2, we had yet to go to the game, my son was in the shower so I had a good 15 minutes to meditate.  For some reason instead of thinking about the glory of God [ how I start all my meditations] all I could think about was Cincinnati.  I thought about the 100 reasons it wouldn't work from no research done, to parking problems to traffic to no seats even available if we bothered to look.  Then God spoke to me.  

 You wrote," being a great dad means being present." Do you think all those things really matter?  I am present to you, so you be present for your son.  

Well needless to say we went to Cincinnati. More importantly, I stopped worrying about all the things that could go wrong and focused on being present in the moment with my son.  The schedules didn't have to line up perfectly, if we hit traffic so what? [ We didn't BTW]  I felt joy almost every moment of the here and now for the rest of the trip.  It made me think of a saying from my friend Chuang Zu a disciple of Lao Tzu:

    While there is a certain amount of planning that needs to be done, one can carry it to excess as I had done.  We must do our best to plan and then leave the rest in God's [ or the universe's or Tao's] hands.  The key is not to be so busy that we lose the moments of life like I almost did.  

Pax

 

Joe

  

Where do you place your pennies?

 I try to meditate at least 5 days a week which means I probably do it 3-4 days a week.  That has been one of the 3 best things about retirement. [ The other 2 are seeing patients at the free clinic and having lunch with a great person everyday, 90% of the time my bride!] Currently I am alternating between the writings of St Ignatius Loyola and Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching.  According to my translation of the Tao Te Ching, it is one of the most translated books into English, second only to the bible.  

Yesterday I read this in the Tao Te Ching:

  Not collecting treasures prevents stealing

        Not seeing desirable things prevents confusion of the heart.

To me this speaks to not focusing on material things of this world and is very similar to what is in the gospel of Mathew 400 years later Chapter 6 verses 19 and 20.  

     Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where rust and moths destroy and thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. 

Now for the vast majority of us in the US not focusing on material things is hard.  We like stuff and society is geared toward getting us to buy more stuff.  While if we were asked, "Does stuff make you truly happy?" we would reply "no", we don't always act that way.  Desirable things often cause confusion in our hearts.

Let's take today as a reminder of where we are actually placing our time and treasure.  Are we using stuff to bring us and others closer to God or are we using/coveting stuff to become more prideful and selfish? Put another way, "Where are you placing your pennies today?"

Pax

Joe

 

 

Dads

 America celebrated Father's Day last sunday.  Of course this got me thinking about fathers.  Everyone's experience of fathers is different.  I was fortunate to have a great one.  So what makes a great dad?  Unfortunately I have used this quote recently but I think it sums up the most important component of being a great dad.  It is of course from Lao Tzu

                                                         In Family Life

                                                                  Be Completely Present 

I think the most important thing for a dad is to be there and to be present in the moment, whether that is a moment of joy or sadness for their child.  I played a lot of baseball from 5th grade through high school and my dad never missed a game when he was in town even though he wasn't a baseball fan.  I am sure there were plenty of days he was tired and had other more important stuff to do but he was there.  I tried to do the same for my kids.  That was one of the main reasons I stayed in the Air Force, so I would have more time for them rather than more money.   

As your kids get older they develop minds of their own.  Suddenly they don't do everything you say and you have to learn to let go.  This can be challenging for a surgeon who knows everything.  But this is a good thing for I would like to share another quote today, this one from John F Kennedy:

 This is important.  For every great dad imparts to his kids the message of unconditional love by being present through those good times and bad.  This message of unconditional love is what children will carry with them through time and what truly makes a dad great.

Pax

Joe

How to make tough decisions

My brother recently had to make a tough decision on whether to buy a camper rig.   I have had to make several tough decisions in my life as I am sure you have.  It got me thinking about the process and if Lao Tzu or other greats would have any advice for us on how to make tough decisions.    Lao states:

To me this says "Think it through carefully."  This of course, is the opposite of pushy sales tactics.  They work on impulse and scaring you into a quick decision.  

For a christian I would add, praying for enlightenment from the Holy Spirit.  We have also talked about how the Spirit can speak to us through others so not only silent prayer but in discussing the matter with one or two trusted friends/advisors can also help form our decision.  But the big thing is prayer.

One can also be paralyzed with indecision which can be just as bad.  Take time to still your mind and pray. Let your self be enlightened through the Holy Spirit directly and through others and then have confidence that God [ or the universe/Tao] is with you.  

Another important thing to remember about tough decisions: no buyer's remorse.  If you have really followed the process above you have done good.  Don't let your faith be shaken.  Trust God.  Leave it in His hands until the morning and sleep soundly.  [ Easier said then done but I am getting better at it every year!]

Pax

 

Joe    

Priorities

 Back when I was in college a Jesuit friend of mine was taking his final test to become a cannon lawyer.  It had consumed 3 years of his life through law school.  I was struck by something he said, " You know, if I worked half as hard at being a priest as I have at becoming a lawyer I would be a saint."  Now he was a selling himself short a bit.  He was a holy man and a great guy.  We have talked about if you are doing God's will then your life is prayer.  But I have often thought about that comment and where I place effort in my life.  So my quote is from St Ignatius Loyola today.  It is a little long winded but he is writing to some of his followers.

Do not ever permit the children of this world to show greater care and solicitude for the things of time than you show for things of eternity.  It should bring a blush to your check to see them run to death more unhesitatingly than you to life. 

Now I don't think most of us "run to death" but where are our priorities? It is clearly a balancing act but if we constantly pray to do God's will such as my Jesuit friend did, that will help us find our way.

 

Pax

 

Joe