Day 25 Thomas Merton's decision

 Day 25, we keep chugging along.    So the fall term starts and Merton is back in graduate school.  He is still living his current life and one late morning when he gets up [ he hadn't gotten to bed till after 4am due to partying] he decides, " I ought to be a priest."  He tells his 2 friends [ including one lady] who had stayed overnight at his place.  The idea grows in his head during the day so in the afternoon he goes to church where they happen to be having veneration of the Blessed Sacrament. As he enters and looks at the alter he states:

And then it suddenly became clear to me that my whole life was at a crisis.  Far more that I could imagine or understand or conceive was now hanging upon a word-- a decision of mine.  pg 255

Then further down the page:

It was a moment of crisis, yet of interrogation: a moment of searching, but it was a moment of joy.  It took me about a minute to collect my thoughts about the grace that had been suddenly planted in my soul, and to adjust my weak eyes of my spirit to its unaccustomed light, and during that moment my whole life remained suspended on the edge of an abyss: but this time, the abyss was an abyss of love and peace, the abyss was God.   pg 255

So I don't know about you but I have had some pretty big decisions in my life where I have prayed hard, seminary or medical school, getting married, retiring from the Air Force and from Civilian life and I wouldn't describe it as falling into an abyss of God.  I was scared to death by all of them but maybe I was getting better because the last three I really felt that God was telling me what to do and I did have a sense of calm peace about the decision. Unlike Merton, I really had to ponder on the decision ( with my wife praying as well) to seek what God's will was for us. I really do believe God directs us if we ask him.  While I would love a handwritten note it seems to come as a calm feeling of what to do.  

That said, the idea for this blog just popped into my head while I was meditating 26 days ago so maybe God is mixing it up with me.  The point is if we want to do God's will we have to ask.  We will get an answer.  We have to be willing to carry it out.  

My prayer for today is Lord, thank you for the many gifts you have bestowed on me.  Help me to continue to place my trust in You and Your plan for me.      

Pax

 

Joe